I'm not in your situation, but I feel for you anyway. My nephews (7 and 9 going on 10 this month) behave the same way. They're not my kids so I can't tell you what has worked for their parents (nothing last time I asked). I was an angry, defiant child so I relate to my 9 year old nephew in how he feels about being labeled a 'bad kid' and knowing, feeling, that no adult likes you. They can feel the irritation and annoyance that adults have for them, how they're blown off. I remember that just having an adult see through that attitude to who I was and take an actual interest, to invest some time with me, would have made a huge difference. Even if they have an attitude they hear you and DO listen. I noticed on your profile that you're a single Mom. Does he have a male role model to spend time with him? Have you looked into the Big Brothers/Big Sisters programs? I also highly recommend the book Raising Cain. They made a PBS documentary based off of the book with the same name. I rented it from Netflix for my husband to watch. It's about the emotional lives of boys. It was insightful and informative. Good luck, keep us updated!